"lousy 2-story buildings..."

I was driving around at lunchtime when I saw, standing on a median strip in the middle of a 4-lane road, leaning against a "no left turn" sign...

Spiderman.

Full-out, head-to-toe, red and blue, mask and all... Spiderman!

And I thought to myself... Wow, Spiderman must really HATE the suburbs... look how he just has to WALK everywhere.  (posted by Dave at 2:49 PM || )

  Xyogen

It doesn't mean anything, but I tryed to type "Oxygen" today and that's what came out, and I just liked the look of it. Sounds like the name of an evil biomedical corporation from some dystopian sci-fi movie.

  (posted by Dave at 11:01 AM || )

  big night…

Major TV-viewing ahead, people. Prepare yourselves for quite an entry on Friday morning. First, we have "Survivor" - with some kind of big twist resulting in TWO tribal councils. Goosebumps! I wonder what the deal is? I hope they did something naughty and made Jeff Probst mad - I love it when Jeff gets all camp-counselor and chides the contestants!

Then, the big "debate" where Kerry and Bush get to prove who is REALLY the best person to lead our country by spouting 60-second canned sound-bite answers to all-but-prearranged soft-ball questions. Ain't democracy grand? Let's all hope Kerry can keep it together and actually answer a fucking question straight. I don't know what's so hard about saying - "I didn’t vote to go to war, I voted to give HIM the AUTHORITY to go to war, and I did so under the assumption that he would do so responsibly and only after exhausting diplomatic channels, cooperating with the United Nations, and forming a coherent military strategy for the occupation. He has done none of these things." He needs to start laying things out that plainly, cuz even *I* start hearing everything he says as "Mwah-mwaaah- m-wah-wah-waaaa" after a while. God knows how he must sound to those "undecided voters" (aka "stupid people") whom this debate is supposedly "for".

( BTW - How nice that the decision of who becomes President comes down to the people who don’t know who they want to be President, and have to watch the debate to see whose tie they like better before making their decision.)

Beside hoping that Kerry keeps the word count down, I'm also hoping that Bush says or does something stupid. I hope he gets at least one "unexpected" question so that we get to see that little deer-in-the-headlights look that says "that wasn't in the Cliff's Notes" and gives me so much pleasure. Somebody ask him about "tribal sovereignty" again!

Anyway. My evening is booked from 7:00 to 11:00.

Last night we watched the second episode of that (Land of the) LOST show. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It's very suspenseful, and you always want to know what's going to happen… and yet there is this nagging feeling that it's just… not… that… good… somehow? I'm not sure. Last night's revelations - that guy who played Merry (or was it Pippin?) is a drug addict of some sort… that guy who looks Iraqi is actually Iraqi… the "love interest" chick is some kind of Federal prisoner… there is some kind of transmitter on the island that has been sending a distress signal for 16 years… and that one guy is really mean. Oh yeah… and there are polar bears. Polar bears? Yeah… I dunno. I have a few theories. Right now the leading one is that there is some kind of "Island of Dr. Moreau" thing going on with some kind of secret lab doing crazy genetic experiments on animals.

That's it for now. Tune in tomorrow for Dave's Debate Recap.


  (posted by Dave at 10:30 AM || )

  war is peace... freedom is slavery... ignorance is strength...

The wife and I were having a nice cozy bedtime conversation about the election, and what disturbs us most about the current political climate and the current administration. For me it has to be their mastery of Newspeak - of calling things the opposite of what they are in order to make them sound "doubleplus good". Thus the law that permits the government to read your library records is "The Patriot Act" and the plan to cut funding to schools who get bad test scores is the "No Child Left Behind" act. (That one I love. Ummm... isn't it the schools with the BAD test scores that need the MOST money? I guess not.)

My favorite example of the downright scary Orwellian nature of the Bush administration is the situation with the War on Terror/Afghanistan/Al Qaeda/Osama/Saddam/Iraq/Whoever the Fuck We Want. The way we can just shift enemies whenever it's convenient, and then convince everyone that they were the enemey all along.

Sound familiar...?

"Since about that time, war had been literally continuous, though strictly speaking it had not always been the same war. For several months during his childhood there had been confused street fighting in London itself, some of which he remembered vividly. But to trace out the history of the whole period, to say who was fighting whom at any given moment, would have been utterly impossible, since no written record, and no spoken word, ever made mention of any other alignment than the existing one. At this moment, for example, in 1984 (if it was 1984), Oceania was at war with Eurasia and in alliance with Eastasia. In no public or private utterance was it ever admitted that the three powers had at any time been grouped along different lines. Actually, as Winston well knew, it was only four years since Oceania had been at war with Eastasia and in alliance with Eurasia. But that was merely a piece of furtive knowledge which he happened to possess because his memory was not satisfactorily under control. Officially the change of partners had never happened. Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil, and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible."

Oprah needs to make 1984 her Book Club selection - right NOW.

Dave

PS> Here is a bonus visual illustration of my point - a visit between our Secretary of Peace and the President of Eastasia. Or is it Eurasia? Either way, note the year!  (posted by Dave at 10:09 AM || )

  not particularly relaxing...

We spent a good chunk of our weekend staining our new deck... a tiny little 10' x 10' deck that we had installed for our new hot tub. Our hot tub was scheduled to be delivered today. Yay! We have a hot tub!

Or perhaps I should reprhase that.

We have a lukewarm tub!

Becuase for some reason, when we hired an electrician to run a 220V line out to the back of the house, he did so without actually CONNECTING the line to a breaker. So we have a hot-tub with no power.

Hey look... it's a $5000 wading pool for the kids!  (posted by Dave at 9:40 PM || )

  how my weekend started...

Youngest awakes at 6:10 AM... still dark. I get him out of his crib, turn on the tube, put something educational on the TiVo. Turn on the living room light. Oldest awakes.

I go into the kitchen... eyes barely open. Pour myself a glass of milk in the semi-dark. Eyeball the last 2 sugar cookies from yesterday's batch sitting on the cooling rack on the counter. Pick up the last two cookies. Take a bite. Walk back towards the living room.

Suddenly my left hand is ... tingling. The carpal tunnel acting up again maybe. Take another bite of cookie. Now my hand is not so much tingling as... itching maybe? Weird. No... whoa...like really itching. What the...? Back to the kitchen, flip on the light...

Ants.

All over the cookie. All over my hand. Ants. All over the counter. All down the wall, down the hall, out the door.

Jesus. Where the FUCK is the Raid?? And hello? Anybody ever hear of a cookie jar?

As for the rest of the day, I spent it compulsively scratching my hands and trying to pretend I didn’t eat two mouthfuls of ant.


  (posted by Dave at 11:04 PM || )

  land of the...?

We TiVo'd that new series "Lost" the other night. It's about a planeload of people who crash land on some island somewhere. I thought it was just going to be about surviving on the island, but then there is some kind of giant monster-thing or dinosaur or something crashing around in the jungle. What the hell? I mean... it wasn't "bad"... I guess. I'm just wondering when the Sleestaks show up.

  (posted by Dave at 1:28 PM || )

  rip… burn… return…

I stopped by the library yesterday and came away with quite a haul, CD-wise. Somebody in “acquisitions” there actually has good taste. The list…

* Fountains of Wayne – “Welcome Interstate Managers”
* Aimee Mann – “I’m With Stupid”
* Aimee Mann - "Bachelor #2"
* Ani diFranco - "So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter"
* Philip Glass - "Heroes Symphony"
* Emmylou Harris - "Wrecking Ball"
* Johnny Cash - "Unchained"

So - I'll be "ripping" away this afternoon. The only one I've listened too so far is the Fountains of Wayne album, and I have to say… I'm pretty impressed. Based on "Stacy's Mom" I expected a bunch of jokey, tongue-in-cheek alt-pop a la "Barenaked Ladies". But it's more than that, because while most of the songs are somewhat tongue-in-cheek, they also happen to be damned good songs. It's a very, very rare thing for me to enjoy an album this much the very first time I listen to it all the way through. Sounds like a keeper.

(Also, the production is SUPER-SLICK. Almost too slick - so much so that I grabbed the liner notes while I was driving to see who the Producer was. But it turns out that the first two names listed as producers are guys in the band, so these guys seem to really know what they're doing.)

In other music news, I gave two more spins to PJ Harvey's latest ("Uh huh, Her") this week and somehow, it's like somebody just flipped a switch - "Oh… ok…now I get it!" It's a really good album once you get over the fact that it sounds more like her first CD than it does her most recent one.

More on music… we watched an episode of "Queer Eye" last night where they made over a musician. He claimed to be in this "Indie Rock" (**) band that played in dive bars around NY, and so the show got his band a good gig at some place big, and got important people to show up. And when they showed his band, all I could think was… I can't believe a band that sucks that bad can get ANY gigs in Manhattan, even at a dive. I mean, they REALLY sucked. Even the WORST bands I've been in were tighter than these guys. It makes me want to start a band just to prove that I can not suck more than that.

Dr. Dave

(** Is "indie rock" a GENRE now that can apply to anyone? Because I thought "indie" meant you were released on an Independent Label. How can an unsigned band be "indie". I think he means he's in an "undie" rock band.)
  (posted by Dave at 10:46 AM || )

  reality tv update...

Watched the finale of The (Emmy Award Winning!) Amazing Race the other night. A synopsis...

The Nice Black Couple beat out the Dysfunctional Petty Crybabies and the Couple Who Can't Stop Talking About "The Lord".

So, there you go. How is it that this show has managed to convince us that WATCHING PEOPLE BUY PLANE TICKETS is entertainment??

We also watched the videotape of the Survivor premiere that Jenn's Mom mailed to us after our viewing was pre-empted by hurricane coverage. Not much was worth noting, other than the fact that there are more castaways this year, it's another "Boys-vs.-Girls" season, and my wife almost sucked all the air out of the room the first time they showed that hunky FBI guy.

  (posted by Dave at 10:48 PM || )

  peace plane...

Well... thank heavens we have the Department of Homeland Security on the job, keeping America safe from dangerous folk singers!!

We may not have Osana bin Laden yet, but you can bet we've got Cat Stevens under 24-hour surveillance.
  (posted by Dave at 2:17 PM || )

  hurricane...

I was pretty lax about posting during the whole hurricane experience, there was just too much going on. In the end it pretty much came down to one sleepless night, two uprooted trees, and 12 hours with no power. All in all, not too bad. The only real inconvenience has been the utillity situation... power and cable but no phone... power, cable, and phone but no mail... power, phone, and mail, but no cable... Yes, welcome to today's exciting episode of UTILITY ROULETTE!! I mean, I know I shouldn't complain about minor interruptions of service when some people have flattened houses, but... god damn.

Anyway, now that THAT is over, I can get back to my usual ranting about inconsequential minutae. Thank god.

D.





  (posted by Dave at 10:56 PM || )

  and we PAY for this...?

So, Katie's school let out early today, what with the impending hurricane and all, and since I was pretty much done at work I picked her up on my way home. In the middle of the “What did you do at school today?” routine, she started in with this story...

”And then after recess, I hurt myself when I was carrying this bag... we were all carrying these bags of sand in from the playground to put around the classroom, and mine was so heavy that I fell, and – “

Wait a minute. They had the kindergarteners sandbagging the school??

I’m pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing. To add to my indignation, I asked what she learned today, and she said they didn’t have TIME to learn anything because it was a short day and they just had free-play, then a snack, then PE, then recess, then lunch, then they went home.

I’m sorry... I know it’s kindergarten and all, but what the hell kind of schedule is 1)free-play, 2)snack, 3)phys-ed, 4)recess, 5)lunch?? Unless they normally have calculus after lunch, I don’t feel like I’m getting my tuition dollar’s worth.

  (posted by Dave at 8:50 PM || )

  good (?) news…

So, in my obsessive state yesterday, I was downloading evacuation maps and “storm surge” projections from the US Army Corps of Engineers website. And the good news is that our home seems to be well outside the storm surge area, and one zone removed from the potential evacuation zones. So visions of my house filled waist-deep with water have mostly subsided.

The other bit of good news is that Ivan was downgraded from a “category 5” to a “category 4” hurricane this morning. And even though that only amounts to a 5 mph decrease in wind speed, the psychological effect is profound. Still… 155 mph wind is nothing to ignore.

Speaking of ignore, I’ve noticed that the national weather services seem completely unaware that Mobile, Alabama even exists. I keep hearing things like – ”People along the Gulf need to be really careful, as Ivan could make landfall near New Orleans, coastal Mississippi, or the Florida panhandle.”

Um… hello? Alabama has a “coastal” too… what the hell?

Anyway… we’re battening down the hatches here at work… backing up all the computers and sealing the hard drives in plastic containers inside the soundproof booth in the studio. It seems a bit extreme to me, I mean… we’re on the FIFTH FLOOR! But I guess the biggest worry is leakage from ABOVE if we get a foot of rain sitting on the roof. And the building does have a lot of glass, so I guess it’s not impossible for an airborne roadsign to wind up flying into one of our offices… especially if there is a tornado or something. (A possibility that I’m trying not to dwell on too much.) Anyway, we’ve been given the OK to leave work at noon today so that we can go do the same sort of thing at home.

We’re not doing the plywood-thing. Mostly because we have nothing in which to TRANSPORT plywood. And because we’re reluctant to fill a 3-month-old home full of screw holes. We just decided we’d rather take the gamble and replace a few thousand-dollar windows rather than go through the hassle of fortifying the entire house. We will duct-tape the windows to prevent any wholesale shattering, and probably plastic/cardboard the windows in our bedroom to make it a ‘safe-zone’. There are no windowless rooms in our entire house, so we’re emptying a walk-in closet to use as a tornado shelter. And all this while TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT.

Anyway, I need to finish up working on my Mac here so they can hermetically seal it in a water-tight vault.

Suddenly, shoveling a few inches of snow doesn’t seem so bad!

  (posted by Dave at 9:30 AM || )

  teachable moment...

My daughter is learning about insects in Kindergarten this week, so naturally I asked her if she knew the names of the three parts of an insect’s body. She said she didn’t. What?! I ask you… what is wrong with education today?? What the hell are they learning about insects if not that??

So I proceeded to teach her all about the head, thorax, and abdomen. Even going so far as to compose a song about it, to the tune of “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes”.

Head, thorax, ab-domen.
Abdomen!
Head, thorax, ab-domen.
Abdome-en-and
Legs and Legs and Legs and Antenna!
Head, thorax, abdomen. Abdomen!!

She was suitably impressed, although I’m not sure she ever quite got the pronunciation of the word “abdomen” quite worked out.

I’m praying she sings it for her teacher today!

  (posted by Dave at 2:20 PM || )

  incidentally, it may be the only song ever to use the word "cutlery" in the lyrics...

I'm taking the morning off from Yoga. I just don't feel like it this morning. That's bad - I know... 5 days of vacation and I'm Out Of The Habit. That's how it always starts. I'll do it tomorrow... I promise.

Not much is going on really. We got our iJoy chair yesterday. It's nice, but no substitute for a "real" massage. It's actually pretty damned uncomfortable as a regular chair... just to SIT in.

My online class starts today. We'll see how that goes. I'm less than excited about it, honestly. I should treat myself to something nice with the extra money. Or... you know... save some for the kids to go to college or something.

Oh... here is one interesting thing. I bought the new Björk album the other night. ("Medulla") I'd heard nothing but good things about it. I've only listened to it once so far. It seems Björky enough to be enjoyable. Anyway, the very next day, I learned that there was a new Twilight Singers album out. (If you don't know who they are, it's the band currently fronted by Greg Dulli, formerly of the Afghan Whigs. If you don't know who THEY are... I'm very sorry and I just can't help you.) I couldn’t wait to get it, so I just bought it from the iTunes store online. Yay, Apple! It feels very futuristic, buying music like that. ”Oh, look… a new album… click, search, click, click… listen… burn” It’s like they just transported you a CD through some kind of Jetsons contraption. Anyway… I was listening to the new Twilight Singers album and complaining in an email to my friend Sam about how it sucks that this album came out at the same time as the Björk album, because I always wind up buying 5 albums in one week like that, and track #3 came on and I switched over to iTunes to see the name of the song, and it was called “Hyperballad” and I though, Hmmm… that’s funny, because there is a song called “Hyperballad”… but no… it can’t be the… but it WAS…

”Greg Dulli is singing a COVER of a BJÖRK song!!”

I had a little Jungian-Musical-Synchronicity-Orgasm, right there. Definitely worth $9.99.



  (posted by Dave at 9:45 AM || )

  the kind of day i'm having...

I wonder if I can pick up the wireless office network in the men's room, because apparently that's where I'll be spending the bulk of the day. Seriously, if childbirth hurts any worse than the stomach cramps I have today, you women deserve a fucking medal, because I just don't see how it's humanly possible. I nearly lost consciousness... twice.

I'm not sure what the hell is going on, but I'll be steering clear of TGIFridays for a while, that's for damned sure.

  (posted by Dave at 9:33 PM || )

  home again…

Aaah… nothing like returning home from a long vacation back to your own smelly, cat-urine-soaked hovel.

Ahem.

Anyway, we managed to squeeze back in to town just before the tropical storm breezed by, but it missed us anyway. That’s actually one of my favorite weather phenomena… being grazed by a tropical storm. We got that a lot growing up in Maryland. Some hurricane would hit the Carolinas, drift up the coast, get downgraded to a tropical storm (or the even more pitiful “tropical depression”) and then treat us to a day of spooky skies and eerie, quiet wind. Hurricanes suck, but almost hurricanes rock.

"Here I am! Rock you like a tropical depression!!"

  (posted by Dave at 9:31 PM || )