kids these days...

Who'd have thought children could be sarcastic and mouthy before they even learn to talk?

In our new house, we have nice big arched windows in the front rooms. The sills are only about a foot off the floor. In Jennifer's office, there is a sofa pushed up against the big window - and the cats like to get behind there and sit on the window sill and look outside. It's a cozy little spot. Well today I was sitting on said sofa and Ian climbed over me... over the back of the couch, and proceeded to stand on the window sill. Then the following conversation took place.

Me: "Ian - that's a nice place for kitties, but I don't think it's a good place for little boys."

Ian: (pause) "Meow."

A smartassed 18-month-old.... just what I need.
  (posted by Dave at 11:45 PM || )

  it'll soon be here...

A revelation from tonight's Democratic Convention. If you listened closely after Kerry's speech, you might have heard the arena speakers blasting "Dreams" by Van Halen. (The Sammy Hagar Years) And if Van Halen songs are now fair game for political events, I think that offically means I'm now just as old as the Dems who rocked out to Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Thinkin' About Tomorrow" in 1992 - and whom I no doubt mocked for doing so.

Dammit, I hate it when shit like that happens.

  (posted by Dave at 11:42 PM || )

  dave screams at his tv...

I was watching the Convention last night, and this local commercial comes on. It starts with a dark screen and then pans across a view of the Earth from space at night... dark blue oceans... the dark black voids of the Western US... as the Earth rotates, larger cities of the midwest come into view... Dallas... Minneapolis... Chicago... then Alabama comes into view... the whole state artificially lit up as bright as New York City... the voiceover begins...

"With energy prices 15% below the natural average... Why not? (A message from Alabama Power.)"

I actually screamed at the television... "Noooooo!!!"

I have never been more appalled.

Why NOT? Why NOT burn as much electricity as humanly fucking possible? Well... let's see... there's global atmospheric CO2 levels leading to global warming and killing off marine life... there's the the fact that most of the oil in the world belongs to people who want to kill us... there's the fact that fossil fuels are a fucking FINITE and nonrenewable source of energy that is going to fucking RUN OUT some day... there's the fact that even if it IS cheaper to burn your lights all day or drive your stupid fucking HUMMER in Alabama than it is in New Jersey, it's CHEAPER STILL to turn the fucking lights OFF or to drive a vehicle that gets double-digit mileage at the very fucking least. I have never been more disgusted by a sentiment in my life.

I'm so irritated that I sent an email message to the "Environmental Outreach" section of the power company. (Essentially the same thing I wrote here, but with fewer "fucks")

Idiots.


  (posted by Dave at 10:43 AM || )

  how can they not know...?

I realize I haven't written here in a while. What with the move and all, I kind of got out of the habit. But Jennifer has been bugging me to write something, so this is her punishment. Here is a conversation we had the other day…

Jenn: Oh, by the way – I have an explanation for why I bought an entire chocolate cake yesterday.

Dave: Oh?

Jenn: Yep.

Dave: Because your period started today?

Jenn: Uh. Yeah.

Dave: Really? (sarcasm) No kidding?

Jenn: Oh.

Dave: Yeah.

Jenn: So you knew?

Dave: Well, I would have put all my chips on yesterday, but… yeah. I knew.

Jenn: Oh. (pause) You need to tell me these things.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. If once a month I turned into a horrible evil person and started to bleed out of my ears or something… you can be damned sure that after 20 years I’d learn to recognize the warning signs. Let me stress that it's not the crabbiness I'm objecting to per se... what I'm objecting too is the persistent, stubborn, complete and utter lack of self-awareness regarding the issue. I just don't understand how she she can bark at me for three days, and live on M&M's for two days, and then all of a sudden go..."Oh! Look! I just got my period! Who'd have known THAT was going to happen?"

Ummm... well... me, the kids, the grocery-store clerk, anyone with a CALENDAR...

I just don't get it.

  (posted by Dave at 10:29 PM || )